Be aware of the effects of an opinion....and lead Instead

Some time ago I got a call from e relatively newly appointed Managing Director seeking my opinion.

Like most people I will have formed views on many subjects but experience has cautioned me not to jump quickly in expressing them.

This turned out to be one such occasion.

My friend had “inherited” the established PA from his predecessor and was finding it a struggle to gel.

“Was he concerned she would not keep his confidence?” I asked.

“Not at all” he answered quickly “She’s the soul of discretion”.

“It’s just that she has a habit of picking and choosing what she will and won’t do”.

“Give me an example?” I asked.

“Irritating things like refusing to say I am not in the Office or the cheques in the post”.

“Would they be true if she said them?” I posed.

“All I want to do is manage the situation for a while”, he pleaded.

The problem at this point is I have a friend giving me his version and the natural next step might be to support his concern.

This is a danger because I don’t know the PA and any amount of Information may be lacking to mislead me, albeit unintentionally.

“Just tell me this” I prompted, “If you heard her on the phone talking to the previous Managing Director and saying you were lazy and very limited in ability, how would you feel?”

“I’d be fuming” he said.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because she is being disloyal and it’s not true” he told me.

“Can you Imagine her actually doing such a thing?” I asked.

“I can’t” he said “Her loyalty to the Company would hold her back”.

Now here is the Important bit.

It does not seem reasonable for me to give an opinion but a bit of a push won’t hurt.

“So what your saying is that you would be annoyed if you heard her telling lies about you but you think it’s fair to expect her to tell lies for you?”

Pause and count!

At this point I will not record the huge compliment that came back but in summary it was that I was “too clever by half, hugely Irritating and a know all” said with intended affection and warmth that only a Man would understand.

Good job I didn’t offer an opinion then!

They are getting on famously now and make a great team.

Me?

I’m still “an Irritating know all” but apparently he wouldn’t have it any other way.

We are agreed then, so all is well.

“Those with strong opinions should carefully distinguish between things they know to be true and those they think to be true”. Robert Boyle – Chemist (1627 – 1691)